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I seek out advice from those regarding managing middle-aged struggles, including deep inner questions, fading relevance, noticing one’s neck akin to a surrealist painting plus a fresh interest about property shows. Lately, I read his remarks about hitting fifty during a chat: “Trimming unnecessary clutter is key to enjoying your later years,” he noted. “Surround yourself with uplifting friends. I’m dodging pessimists – ‘fun sponges’ – and improving at refusing requests.”

Initially, I wondered: doesn’t this conflict regarding shunning downbeat folks and mastering refusal? Doesn’t that mean he has to avoid himself? I realize – that’s typical energy vampire talk, and I admit I fit the description. Yet, we gloomy souls like to call ourselves “vibe suckers”. Refrain from using “downer” or “spoil-sport” – these comparisons to everyday gear are insulting; we possess sentiments (though often pessimistic). If forced, I’d agree to “gloomy soft cover”.

Maybe you belong to this group as well. Do you tend to be the event’s realist rather than its cheerleader? Does your detailed response to “How are you?” have your interlocutor edging away uncomfortably? Upon hearing “exciting” ideas, do you make a face as if you’ve tasted something vile? Do you see yourself in gloomy figures; has a spiritual reader mentioned your vibe is murky?

Should this ring true, welcome to the club, and it’s fine. Even as popular advice encourages cutting ties with “exhausting” pals, I believe we provide genuine benefits. I reckon a mood hoover would have said something discouraging – or at least made a slug-swallowing face – when Jamie described his plan to write a kids’ book with an Australian First Nation main character without consulting Indigenous communities, which could have prevented a whole lot of problems, upset and offence. That level of honest feedback is rare among “upbeat” individuals.